The Weirdest Ways People Are Actually Making Money With AI
While tech bros were busy making their chatbots sentient, Susan in Oklahoma made $300,000 last year using AI to name racehorses. Let that sink in.
The real AI gold rush isn't happening in Silicon Valley penthouses. It's happening in weird corners of the economy where nobody's looking. While investors throw millions at the next "revolutionary" chatbot, regular people are quietly making bank in the strangest ways imaginable.
Take Dave, a former fortune cookie writer who got laid off when his company switched to AI-generated fortunes. Instead of fighting it, he built FortuneAI – an algorithm specifically trained on 40 years of fortune cookie wisdom. He now supplies 60% of America's fortune cookie predictions and makes more money than his old boss.
"The trick is to make the fortunes vague enough to be universal but specific enough to freak people out in Chinese restaurants," Dave explains. "Also, adding 'in bed' still works with AI-generated fortunes."
Then there's Margaret, who used to write descriptions for cat toys on Amazon. Now she runs an AI that generates product descriptions exclusively for pet accessories. Her secret? Training the model to be unnecessarily dramatic about simple items.
"My AI once described a basic cat ball as 'a sphere of infinite feline possibility, crafted from the dreams of ancient cat gods,'" she admits. "Sales tripled."
The profitable niches get weirder. A former bartender trained an AI to generate cocktail names and recipes based on people's personal dramas. Tell it about your messy breakup, it names a drink after your ex. "The Passive Aggressive Peter" is apparently very popular in Manhattan.
Some successes are almost offensive in their simplicity. Josh made $80,000 last year with an AI that just renames boring business meetings to sound more urgent. "Quarterly Review" becomes "Critical Revenue Synergy Summit." People actually pay for this.
A florist in Maine used GPT to generate flower meanings for made-up varieties. She now sells "AI-interpreted botanical emotions." Each bouquet comes with a custom story about its fictional historical significance. Hipsters love it.
The latest trend? AI-generated excuses for missing work. A developer created an algorithm that generates believable, locally-relevant reasons you can't come to the office. It factors in current weather, local events, and recent news. "Sorry, can't make it in. My car was surrounded by escaped therapy llamas from the wellness center" actually worked in Portland.
Even traditional industries are finding weird AI angles. A funeral home uses AI to generate uniquely terrible eulogy jokes, marketing them as "ice breakers for the final goodbye." It's simultaneously horrible and brilliant.
The pattern is clear: The real opportunity isn't in making AI smarter – it's in making it weirder in very specific ways.
While tech giants pour billions into making AI more human-like, someone's making six figures using it to generate passive-aggressive responses to Homeowners Association complaints.
The next big AI success won't be another language model. It'll be someone who trains AI to write performatively enthusiastic Yelp reviews for mediocre diners. Or generates horoscopes exclusively for pets. Or turns corporate mission statements into medieval prophecies.
Because here's the truth about AI business opportunities: The riches are in the niches, and the niches are getting strange.
Just ask Susan's AI-named racehorse, "Neural Nostalgia," which actually won at Kentucky Downs. Sometimes the dumbest ideas are the most profitable.
And if you think these opportunities are too weird to be real, remember: Someone's making money right now with an AI that just generates new ways to say "per my last email."
The future is strange, and business is booming.
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